Tag Archives: politics

EXCLUSIVE : Hollywood Confirms Live Action Adaptation of Original Content

Los Angeles – Well, It’s certainly been a jaw dropping decade of highlighted cinema innovation. Everything from the Fantastic 4 reboot to the Jungle Book and Ghostbusters reboots have captured audiences the same way the original movies did and with only half the effort. Hollywood never ceases to amaze audiences when it comes to taking 30 year old ideas and adding egregious and grandiose amounts CGI and calling them artistic re-imaginings.

We spoke with Paramount Pictures Executive Hunter Fredsberry as he described the creative process that artists have been using to make the perfect 2010s reboot of something that should’ve just been left alone.

“Beneath every great artist’s desk or sitting on their favorite chair is a small hole where ideas come from. Some of the holes are grand and shallow, others are narrow, yet deep. Often when we are rebooting something that should’ve just been left alone, we come across ideas from the hole that make everyone in the office say ‘But, what if we did this’. So naturally, every artist likes to refer to these magical idea holes as our butt holes.”

Fredsberry went on to describe just how monumental his butt hole has been lately in the film industry.

“Such amazing ideas have come out of my butt hole these last few years, and I have to share them with the world. Even if they’re for movies that we don’t have the rights to! When I heard about Jon Favreau’s Jungle Book, my butt hole was puckering out ideas left and right! You know that scene where Baloo and Bagheera fight off like 300 monkeys? Yeah. That came straight from my butt hole.”

Mr. Fredsberry then went on to describe the new ideas that have been recently coming out of his butt hole. He calls them ‘original ideas’.

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if my butt hole was broken or not. I even had some of the other executives come over and look at my butt hole to see if anything was wrong. These new ideas that came out of my butt hole were things that no one had ever pulled from their butt hole before! Things like, talking dogs, but also with hats! Or having a movie with more practical affects than CGI! My butt hole even gave me the idea to make a funny Tyler Perry movie instead of another culturally blind shock comedy! Everyone in the office was blown away!”

With production already underway and Hunter Fredsberry’s butt hole raw from innovation, it looks like 2017 is going to be another exciting year of cinema magic. Stay on the look out for the Fall 2017 release of Tyler Perry’s : Medeas Big Butt Hole.

Politician’s Decision To Solve Problem Met With Criticism For Not Solving All Other Problems

Chuck Schumer, long time Senator of New York state known mostly for his copy and paste speeches at college graduation ceremonies, decided to go after the online ticket scalping industry and protect ticket buyers from cyber hackers, which has drawn the ire of locals who demand he focus on bigger issues like every other issue facing the state of New York.

“Of all the problems facing this country, and I mean every single one from the national debt, treatment of our veterans, jobs going overseas, and my wife leaving me, and this guy chooses to focus on something that doesn’t affect me personally? Thanks for nothing Senator Narcissist!” said Mark Bardino, a local who also enjoys getting mad at television shows he doesn’t have to watch in his free time.

“When hopeful concertgoers went online the day tickets were made available, they were told they needed a little more than a hungry heart to get tickets,” Schumer said Monday as he continued to ignore the growing poverty level in this country as well as not even once mentioning the attacks in Brussels and how he would stop ISIS.