Rochester, NY — During a press conference earlier this week, Waste Management’s CEO confessed that “he doesn’t really get why you guys want to throw all of this really nice garbage out to begin with.” This came after weeks of spotty and inconsistent rubbish removal services by Waste Management in Monroe County came under fire.

“Like this shit is good, like really good,” he explained to a room full of reporters when questioned why there has been such a sudden drop-off of service in the Rochester area. “I’m seeing people throwing out paper plates, tampons, empty peanut butter jars… like use your imagination once in your life and reuse some of this stuff… it doesn’t need to be thrown out!”

When asked for a comment, the CEO of RG&E said, “I’m glad to have the people of Rochester off my neck for even one minute right now.”