ROCHESTER, NY — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that every adult in Rochester will receive a $585,000 dividend if RG&E wins a Rochester Community Choice Award, calling the proposed payout “a tremendous deal for a shithole city filled with losers and crime, and also, people are saying, food even I wouldn’t eat.”

“Five hundred eighty-five thousand dollars for every adult,” Trump said. “That’s a lot of money. And it’s because of RG&E. They’ve been doing a fantastic job. Really great people.”

Trump said the $585,000 figure was selected because it represents Rochester’s 585 area code, before launching into a half-hour rant about Ludacris’s 2001 song Area Codes featuring Nate Dogg:

“We love Luda, don’t we? Ludacris. And area codes. It’s a very sophisticated system. Frankly, I understand area codes better than most people. But Luda leaves out 585. Completely leaves it out. Rochester. Very strange. You’re making a song about area codes, you’re listing them all over the country, and you don’t have Rochester? That’s a problem.

And then you’ve got 340, which is the area code for the U.S. Virgin Islands. Very interesting area code. Called it many times. Beautiful islands. Everybody knows them. I’m not going to get into why people know them, but they know them.

And Nate Dogg is on the song. Great voice. Great name. DOGG. Not Snoop. Nate. But if they had added 585, I think it would have changed everything. You could have had Rochester right there with all the other cities. Maybe Ludacris comes to Rochester. Maybe Nate Dogg comes to Rochester. Maybe they go to a Wegman. You never know.”