Rochester NY – In a shocking turn of events last night, local man Gary Thompson embarked on a perilous Thanksgiving Eve mission to secure the elusive cranberry sauce at Wegmans. Little did he know, his choice would leave his marriage hanging by a thread.
Sources report that Gary, armed with a shopping list and a misguided sense of culinary bravery, waded through the crowded aisles like a cranberry-seeking warrior. Witnesses say he navigated the cranberry sauce section with the finesse of a sommelier, only to emerge with a can of Wegmans Organic Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce. The exact style his wife despises.
Upon Gary’s triumphant return home, his wife, Karen Thompson, was less than pleased. Eyewitnesses report that the atmosphere in the Thompson household shifted from holiday cheer to the tension of a Thanksgiving turkey about to be overcooked.
Karen, visibly exasperated, stated, “I specifically told him to get the Ocean Spray jelly kind because I love the ridges. I even said ‘ridged for my pleasure.’ Like, how hard is it to remember one thing? Now we’re stuck with this cranberry catastrophe, and Thanksgiving is ruined!”
Innerloop Blog sources close to the Thompson family say Gary attempted to salvage the situation by offering to return to Wegmans and exchange the cans. He also told their four children he was going out to “buy a pack of smokes.”
Gary has never smoked cigarettes in his life and was last seen leaving the house at 7:00am Thanksgiving morning. His family is now asking for your help to find him but his wife told our reporters “not to burn a lot of calories on the search.”