ROCHESTER, NY — A brief moment of terror has come to an end as the sun has reappeared in the sky after total darkness lasting hours without explanation. “It was 3 minutes,” reports Brighton resident and annoyed boyfriend, Michael D. “There was an explanation. I already told you it was the eclipse.” Innerloop Blog’s fact-checking department has deemed this account as unreliable.

In potentially related news, independent research by this author has found that what were originally believed to be 5mg THC strawberry smoothie gummies have now been found to contain 25mg of THC, meaning instead of 10mg, as much as 50mg may have been consumed. The author has been given a water bottle and a weighted blanket.