ORCHARD PARK, NY – At 9-3, the Buffalo Bills are off to their best start in years, with the opportunity to clinch a playoff spot this week against Baltimore with a win. Fans are abuzz with hope (and a lot of Labatts) as their team appears to be building a culture of winning for the first time since Jim Kelly was called Machine Gun Kelly (really, see picture below).
Fans are so excited for this team that there is almost no concern that it will end in tears as it has in every year they have played for the last 49 years.
“Josh Allen is the savior! We’re going to run the table and win a super bowl because God has finally decided to let Buffalo have some success. And if I see some yuppie f*** at a tailgate dipping his wings in ranch I will personally power bomb him through my stand up George Foreman grill” said lifelong Bills fan and part time hot dog pickler, Jeff Deljeff.