Rochester NY – If there’s anything Donald Drumpf loves more than winning primaries, it’s putting his name on stuff. After the registered sociopath and Presidential hopefuls glorious display in the New York closed primaries, he has decided to wave his magic gold wand and legally declare all of New York state ‘Drumpfland’. Local Drumpfians were a wonderful mix of aghast and in astonished aww as our new commanding overlords began branding all of New York’s beautiful architecture with the ‘Drumpf’ trademark and dusting all of the states population and ground belongings in a soft gold paint.

Downtown Rochester has officially been renamed ‘Drumpftopia’ by our magnificent leader. By the end of the week every building from Charlotte to Canandaigua will bear the Drumpf logo and every street will be painted “The best color of gold you can ever see. It’s Drumpf Gold,” to quote our lord and commander.

Many liberal try-hards spoke out against Emperor Drumpf, questioning the legality of Drumpfed acquisition of Drumpfland. Those losers were of course, never heard from again.