Rochester, NY – Residents awoke confused but not necessarily surprised to find that the headquarters of the Democrat & Chronicle had been locked behind a giant paywall.

Curiosity got the best of some that approached the wall. One man was immediately electrocuted after reaching out and touching it.

“As he was writhing on the ground he kept screaming, ‘get unlimited access with a subscription’ over and over again!” One witness told the blog.

Others approached a large gate attached to the wall and were greeted by a haunting otherworldly voice commanding them to subscribe to the essential digital plan to gain entry or suffer the consequences.

As the scared onlookers backed away, the gates swung open and giant robot sentries exited from behind the wall.

The panicked crowd began running in terror as the robots began targeting them with giant rolled up newspapers all while demanding they pay the subscription fee.