Rochester, NY – A shocking new leak claims the same people that put bread on our table, and milk in our cereal, are the ones behind the biggest winter storms in Western NY history.
A whistleblower sent The Innerloop Blog hidden camera footage of the leaders of the Lactose and Gluten industries appearing to perform a ritual of some sort. While the location was not disclosed to us, the footage appears to be near the shore of Lake Ontario.
According to our on-staff ritual expert, the blizzard conjuring involves a satanic-like summoning circle and the sacrificing of a snowman.
“From the chanting, it seems like the bread and milk executives are praying to the Penobscot tribal god Pamola,” explained our expert. “How they discovered such a powerful chant, we might never know, but shortly after covering the snowman in cow blood and dipping a loaf of bread into the remains, the entire screen goes white.”
The time stamp on the film lines up with the last blizzard we had in the Rochester area and also with the last time that Wegmans sold out of milk and bread.