Papa John’s Dumps Leftover Garlic Sauce into Genesee River While Leaving Rochester

ROCHESTER, NY – This week all five of Papa John’s Rochester locations closed and in one last “F** YOU” to their loyal customers they dumped the entirety of their Garlic Butter Sauce reserves into the Genesee River.

Stanley Yelnats of the Environmental Protection Agency Rochester Division told “this will have a major impact on or fish and wildlife…. A MAJORLY TASTY IMPACT!” He proceeded to bite into the belly of a fish just like that one scene with smeagol in Lord of the Rings. “Everything taste like Garlic Butter now! This is will be a new Renaissance for Rochester!”

The City of Rochester is already planning close the dam permanently and allow all residents to scoop out as much of the golden goodness as their arteries can take. “This is a game changer for the  annual Taste Of Rochester event! We can just dip our Chicken Fingers right in the River!” said Event Coordinator Stacey Borgen.

When we reached out to Papa John’s for comment the sent back that picture of Drunk Papa John and a notice that the company has officially changed their slogan to “Better Ingredients, Better Pizza, Better GTFO of Rochester!”

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