ROCHESTER, NY – “The station literally goes from being played by four fraternities to every crappy bar. Our servers can’t take that amount of bagpipe” said Pandora’s Chief Technology Officer John Thamos.

March 17th is St. Patricks Day or as it’s known in Rochester as Parade Day or “Hey did they guy just throw up on that other guy?” Day. To set the Irish mood local bars like to slap a Four-Leafed clover with Bud Light logos on their windows, add some green dye to their PBR’s, and set their Pandora station to Dropkick Murphy’s.

“Celtic punk rock is the scientifically the worst music for your health” Dr. Tex Rillerson told Innerloop Blog. “Having bagpipes makes your subconscious think of Braveheart making you sad which triggers to drink more. This is added to the annoyance drinking triggered by having any man wearing a kilt in your peripheral. It’s truly a wonder more livers don’t fail on St. Patrick’s Day.”