GREECE – After the announcement of a Chick-Fill-A coming to the Rochester area, a group of private investors announced that they are breaking ground on In-n-Out-n-Proud, the first all glass LGBTQ+ leather bar and grill, 20 feet to the left of the fast food chain. The bar will be open to everyone, regardless of sexuality, gender, race, class, or ability. Besides serving delicious dishes made from local food sources, In-n-Out-n-Proud will also hold informational and instructional classes and workshops on such subjects as gender-fluid adoptions, light BDSM, and how to make good quality signs for protesting businesses who continually fund anti-LGBT hate groups while pretending to only just be about making shitty chicken sandwiches. They project their busiest hours to coincide with Chick-Fil-A’s operating hours. Said one In-n-Out-Proud entrepreneur, “With all glass walls, passersby will get to see everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING. That means you’ll get to see our patrons enjoying their dinners and minding their goddamn business, but you can assume that some dudes are gonna kiss or something, which is also their goddamn business.”
Investors denied that the construction of this new bar is a direct response to Chick-Fil-A’s opening, a food chain that has donated tens of millions of dollars to anti-LGBT hate groups throughout the years, even though they promised to stop supporting said groups, and whose CEO officially stated that he was against same-sex marriage under the veiled excuse of “Christian causes”.
“We didn’t know that a Chick-Fil-A was opening in the area”, said one investor in In-n-Out-n-Proud. “It is also just a coincidence that our all glass bar and grill will feature make out rooms that will be lit and in direct view of the Chick-Fil-A windows.” Investors wish to remain anonymous, but also said they plan to open an adoption center for gay couples, and wedding organizer who specializes LGBTQ+ couples, and a pet store, but for people into pony and puppy play, all adjacent to, in front of, or directly behind the new Chick-Fil-A.
Chick-Fil-A could not provide a comment regarding their new neighbors, as they were too busy commemorating a statue to the Westboro Baptist church.