Rochester N.Y. – The long abandoned Medley Centre, may have not been as abandoned as we all thought. For years the Medley Centre has been a hot spot for junkies and the homeless to gather for soup kitchen style sex parties and the occasional fire in a barrel on the decrepit carousel. Now, the Rats residing within the former shopping center have had enough with the disgusting behavior of the homeless population taking up shelter there.
“We’ve been here since day one” says retired karate instructor and Medley Centre resident Master Splinter. “We tried to co-exist with the vagrants that came in here once the last stores closed but it’s gotten too out of hand.” Many ratsidents of the Medley Centre moved in because of the inexpensive housing and the great school systems. “When the mall closed, rats and the families moved here in droves,” says rat middle school teacher Nigel Ratburn (formerly of the hit television show Arthur), “there are children here and they are constantly exposed to the disgusting habits of the homeless community.”
Talks between leaders of each group have gone on but lets face it, we’re talking about a conversation between a rat and a person so many doubt they will get very far.
The Rat Community is fed up with the drug abuse and filthy sexual performances displayed by the infestation of homeless who have moved in to their space. A vote will take place and the issue will be brought in front of the Rat King (which of course we all know is a bundle of rats who have gotten their gross rat tails tangled together to make one mega huge super gross rat blob) on what to do about the homeless inhabitants . Ratsidents (yes I had to use it one more time) of the Medley Centre have considered handling the population a la the black plague, but most hope it doesn’t come to that.