In a completely depraved and shameless act of extreme sluttiness, Jeff Langdon made his profile picture one of himself in the bathroom of Chipotle with his entire upper body exposed to the Tinder community.
Declaring that he just wanted to let the world know he’s not ashamed of his body, even with the Godsmack logo on his abdomen, Jeff faced scorn from a society that almost universally finds this sort of smut to be self indulgent and egotistical.
“Disgusting. How does he expect me to take him seriously with that sort of smut? He’s clearly just a dirty whore who wants attention.” Said fellow Tinder user Melanie Rogers
“I just think if he wants me to respect him, he needs to start dressing like he doesn’t want me to fuck him and leave him. Clearly has some mommy issues.” Said Jeff’s Mom, who also uses Tinder.
Still Mr. Langdon has his supporters who say this is a “men’s rights” issue. “He’s taking a stand against these oppressive feminists who just want us to stop loving ourselves and would rather promote their bullshit equality cause whatever the fuck that means” said Chase Hammond, while high fiving a fellow shirtless bro at their frat’s “Fuck a Fat Chick” night. Celebrity penis with a beard Dan Bilzerian Retweeted his story to his loyal minions of sexual predators and said “it’s time us men stood up for our rights as we are now the minority in this country.”
Jeff could not be reached for comment since he was continuing to take shirtless selfies and swiping right without any discrimination, a true hero to all men who face the scorn of vicious attacks on their appearance in all forms of social media and online dating.