Greece, NY – “I was born and raised in Greece NY without my consent.”

This is the basis of local man Tony Kester’s lawsuit against his parents and it will be up to a jury to figure out whether this is cause for Lary and Cindy Kester to see jail time or compensate their son for his “low quality of life.”

Tony says his parents “lived in that dump all of their lives, knew it was a dump, and still decided to bring more life into that dump.” According to his lawyer Paul Stallings, this act of procreation in Greece NY should qualify as “premeditated abuse” and his client is “entitled to justice for the damage caused to Mr. Kester.”

While we were unable to reach Tony’s mother or father for a comment we did receive a message from their lawyer who said the lawsuit is “nothing but bullsh**.”

Apparently, Paul Stallings is not even a real lawyer but instead just a guy that sells Tony weed. The “lawsuit” was written on the back of a JC Penny ad and Tony thought was enough to “take this sh** to people’s court.”

Ironically, Mr. Kester’s lack of understanding of how the law, or anything, works would be a great piece of evidence to prove being raised in Greece ruined his life before it even started.