Survey: Majority Say Mayor Would Be “Cooler if He Had Some Guns or Drugs Hidden in His Home”

Rochester, NY – We’re now in year two of Mayor Malik Evans term in Rochester and a new survey attempted to find out how residents were feeling about the local politician.

Turns out, they’re very indifferent.

“He’s not good, but he’s not bad either,” said one respondent. “He’s like Pontillo’s pizza. It’s not like he’s getting anyone excited but he’s also not going to ruin things.”

An overwhelming amount of Rochesterians had some advice for the mayor if he wants to score some cool points in time for the next election. It would require him to follow in the footsteps of his predecessor and have drugs or guns hidden in his home.

You may remember that former Mayor Lovely Warren’s home was raided and was found to contain cocaine, guns, and more than $100,000. She denied any knowledge of the illegal things going on in her primary residence and her estranged husband eventually went to jail for involvement in a drug ring.

But that doesn’t change the fact that it was kind of cool for a moment in time to have a “Scarface mayor.” At least that’s what one survey respondent wrote.

When asked what drugs they would be okay with an active Mayor having in their home, 99% of Rochesterians said they’d vote for Malik’s election campaign if they found out he had a “dope ass hydroponic chronic growing set up.”

To put these numbers in perspective the survey also found that only 2% of Rochester said they would vote for him if the police found a “stash of essential oils.”

Leave a Reply