Rochester, NY – Shocking news out of Rochester, NY as sources close to the Elizabeth Warren campaign have claimed that Danny Wegman told Warren in a private conversation in 2018 that women could never be a butter mascot at a grocery store.
Elizabeth Warren has been outspoken about her desire to one day inspire young girls everywhere by finally becoming the first Butter Woman, ousting the tyrannous Butter Boy who has been embroiled in a number of scandals since he was named as Wegmans official mascot for the concept of butter.
“Why not? Can I not shoot for the stars? Can I not yearn for greater things? Can I not hope to one day be portrayed as a genital-less sentient hunk of butter?” Warren said, in response to a unrelated question about Iran at the CNN Democratic Debates.