ROCHESTER, NY – East and Alexander nightlife staple and local cesspool Vinyl night club announced this week they are getting rid of bathrooms. In an effort to save money on the water bill and make the dance floor area larger they decided to tear out both men and women restrooms and allow the whole bar itself to be used as a bathroom/dancefloor hybrid.
Vinyl head bartender Chip Yi said “It came to us the past few weeks after experimenting with urinating on the ground during really long lines. After a few test studies, we realized no one even noticed, because of the already awful scent and disgustingly sticky floors here.”
When we asked how he thinks the locals will take to this revolutionary change Yi told us “I mean I’ve gone all over and I’ve seen speak-easy, movie-themed bars, hell they even just opened an axe bar down the street! But never seen a bathroom bar, so why not be pioneers.” The new changes will launch immediately, and it is bring your own toilet paper.