ROCHESTER, NY – A new study conducted by the Swiss Miss University of Switzerland Missouri confirmed that people who use water for hot cocoa when milk is an option are more likely to be psychopaths.

“We noticed a correlation between how little these people cared about their taste buds and how little they cared for the feelings of others” said Dr. Madeup Doctornameman. “As it turns out, if you prefer using tasteless water to make wet chocolate you scored just as high as Jeffrey Dahmer on the psycho scale.”