PENFIELD, NY – Students in the Penfield School District are raising eyebrows after the sudden arrival of a new student who insists he’s “just a regular kid” and definitely not a corporate plant sent to sway public opinion on the proposed Costco development. The student, known mysteriously only as “The ROCler,” quickly became the center of attention when he handed out a suspiciously large supply of double-chunk chocolate cookies.

Despite his assurances, The ROCler’s behavior has fueled speculation. During his first week, he gave the fiestada pizza at lunch an enthusiastic “5 booms” rating and casually mentioned the benefits of Costco membership during class discussions. “He said the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, just like Costco is the powerhouse of savings,” one student recalled.

Teachers haven’t been immune to his charm either. “He’s very polite, participates in class, and somehow convinced me to reconsider my stance on wholesale bulk purchasing,” said Mrs. Thompson. Rumors have spread that he’s making a diorama to show “The Economics of Large-Scale Retail Membership Models” for show and tell this week.

When asked directly by The Innerloop Blog if he was planted by Costco, The ROCler chuckled nervously before replying, “No way, bro. I give that question five big DOOMs.”