Rochester, NY – It was only yesterday that local man Stew Longman just got done cleaning his yard of littered face masks and reusable Wegmans bags. Today he’s been waiting to see what new treasures the wind in Rochester will bring him.

“I am really hoping my neighbor recycle bin blows over here because I could use another one,” Stew told the blog. “Also, I would love some condom wrappers to make their way into the yard so that people in this neighborhood think ‘I still got it’ you know.”

For the record, when Stew said “I still got it” he did make pelvic thrusts at our writer. It was clear that he indeed did not still have it.