As people prepare to celebrate Mardi Gras on Tuesday, alcoholic fathers nationwide have spoken out against what they claim is cultural appropriation of their time honored tradition of getting blackout drunk on a Tuesday.

“My people have been carrying on the sacred tradition of getting shithammered on weekdays for centuries, you can’t take this from us.” Said 55 year old father of 3 Barry Goldstone as he spilled what was left of his Natty Daddy, most of which was certainly backwash on his “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” novelty t-shirt.

A rally was held by alcoholic dads in the heart of New Orleans at 5pm Tuesday to protest Mardi Gras, sadly only 3 fathers attended as the rest of the group fell asleep on the couch watching a MASH rerun and slept through the event.