KodakCoin Offering Laid-Off Workers Rare Second Chance to Lose Everything

ROCHESTER, NY – KodakCoin, Kashminers, Blockchain, Cryptocurrency, are just a few of the words being thrown around Rochester this week after one of the cities namesake companies announced they were creating their own bitcoin.

“I have no idea what bitcoin is but I heard it gets you rich, so I am going all-in,” said Bob Lewis, a former Kodak employee who was laid-off in the late 90s.

Mr. Lewis is just one of the many former Kodak employees hoping to cash in on the film companies announcement that has made their stocks nearly triple.

“When they laid me off, I lost everything, but there is no way this can happen again right? They say lightning doesn’t strike twice so there’s no way bankruptcy can strike twice too right!” said the laid-off Kodak worker. He’s planning to remortgage his house to pay for the rental fees required to use the Kodak Kashminer to mine Kodakcoin.

A decision that is both confusing and in no way will ever actually work.

We asked our youngest Innerloop employee what the fuck bitcoin is, and how it works, and she told us “please stop assuming because I am young that I understand any new technology thing.”

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