Oscars Snub: Academy Overlooks My Girlfriend in Role of “Total Bitch All The Time”

This past week, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the 2017 Oscar nominations. La La Land was a notable standout, getting a whopping 14 nominations (which ties the record for most a movie has received). Moonlight, a gripping, personal drama brought much needed diversity, along with Fences, Lion and Hidden Figures, to the Oscars after last year’s #OscarsSoWhite controversy.

The field of worthy movies was jam-packed this year, and per usual several films and performances were snubbed, upsetting many movie buffs. By now, you have probably heard complaints about Amy Adams and Annette Bening not making it into the ranks for Best Actress. Many feel Bening was quite deserving for her performance in 20th Century Woman. Even more thought 2017 was Adams’ year, as she knocked it out of the park in both Arrival (which got plenty of recognition) and Nocturnal Animals.

However, the Academy overlooked another stellar performance no one is talking about; my girlfriend in her role of being a total and utter bitch all the time. Not even Loving’s Ruth Negga or the transcendent Meryl Streep came close to the dedication and effort my girlfriend put into acting like a horrible bitch all the goddamn time. From her incessant nagging about me finding a real job (writing for an Internet blog is a noble pursuit, by the way) to her subtlety played looks of disappointment, her excellence is unmatched. Not too often is an actress able to completely transform into the role she takes on. Yet,  my girlfriend’s expertise and commitment results in a complete coalescence of player and character. Halfway through 2016, I couldn’t even tell the difference between my girlfriend and the raging bitch she acted like 24/7.

The Academy will try to hide behind technicalities, like my girlfriend not actually being in a film, let alone one that got theatrical distribution or her not actually being an actress. But a rose by any other name would smell as sweet and my girlfriend, SAG or not, still acts awful and bitchy all the time. If the Academy fails to recognize that, well I suppose there is nothing to be done.

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