Tag Archives: Nightlife

Another Late Night Host in ROC? Craig Kilborn Spotted Selling Coke at Lux

Last week the Tonight Show Star Jimmy Fallon was spotted partying it up at Mulconry’s Irish Pub and Restaurant which is exciting if you’re a big fan of SNL or Fever Pitch.

But if you’re a fan of The Daily Show before it was good or The Late Late Show before it was g̶o̶o̶d̶ whatever it is now, we have another big Rochester cameo for you!

We have received rumors on the InnerLoopBlog Tipster Line that Former Host Craig Kilborn has been hanging out at Lux and has a new job. Selling cocaine!

It seems Craig has gone from putting smiles on people’s faces to putting them up their nose.

Sex-Positive Feminist Wonders If She’s Flashing for Feminism or Filling Void Dad Left Behind

ROCHESTER, NY – “Show Us Your Tits! Show Us Your Tits!” Chants can be heard throughout the city this Mardi Gras as women strenuously lift layers of sweatshirts and turtle-necks to expose their breasts in exchange for plastic beads. Some are mothers, some sisters, some heavy-set men passing a tired joke as an original. Whoever they are, we can all agree they are FUN! In the middle of it all stands recent Feminist Lit Studies grad, Ashley VanderHausen, 24.

We asked her what she thought about all of this. “I mean, is it feminist if I flash my tits? Is it sexist if I don’t?” Ashley wondered, donning a “Nasty Woman” t-shirt over her Bills Mafia sweatshirt over her UnderArmour turtleneck.

“As a sex-positive feminist I reserve the right to show my body in whatever way I want. But, like, if all these guys are yelling at me and telling me to do something I wouldn’t usually do, I mean do I want that for Me? Or do I want it for them?”

She lit an American Spirit and distractedly sucked in smoke.

“Like I was about to do it, I was, but then I was like ‘What would Gloria Steinham think of me?’ And then, like, this really old guy who kind of looked like my dad – er, well, that picture of my dad – started chanting too, so I just went inside and did a ton of blow.”

Brockport student enjoys fruitful semester of date rape

“I knew I’d be be getting with tons of chicks in college, but I didn’t know it would be this good!”Said Brad Brunswick, smiling from ear to ear as he sat at his desk organizing all of his Rohypnol into a neat pile.  “Atleast 3 of them were semi conscious.”

Brad has become a legend amongst his fraternity brothers at Phi Kappa Phi Phi Phi Kappa and a terrible memory that will never fade for over 30 female students, a new record for the fraternity.

“I swear that dude forcefully drags home a different girl every night, I’m so jealous!” Said one of his “brothers” who refused to be named for legal reason

Brunswick offered some advice for any college student out there who hasn’t had as much success as him.

“All it takes, is a good attitude, a little bit of charm, and a sociopathic disregard for the effect your actions have on others.”

Local man awarded key to the city for suggesting garbage plates after night of binge drinking

Rochester Mayor Lovely Warren presented Kevin Hannon with the key to the city for what is being called an act of heroism during a ceremony at 1 p.m. on Friday.

“That man saved my life.” said 22 year old Chad Dartmouth as he chain smoked cigarettes outside of his subsidized apartment building. “I don’t know if I would be here if not for what he did for me that night.”

Witnesses say that on March 14th, after what was touted as “the best night ever, I love you guys you are my best friends man, I love you.” by Hannons best friend Chris Snyder, Hannon suggested that the group visit Nick Tahous for garbage plates, to sober up so that they could drive home.

“I’m good to drive man, I just need to get some food in me, ya know.” said Hannon, in what Warren on Friday referred to as “a sign of what the residence of this City can do when faced with adversity.”

“It’s a huge honor, I’m glad to finally be recognized for what I truly am; a hero.” said Hannon, still hungover from the post-ceremony festivities.

No word yet on whether or not President Obama will fly in to Rochester to meet with Hannon.