Tag Archives: Holidays

1-Year Later: Man Still Waiting in Restaurant Lobby for Wife to Complete Valentine’s Day Scavenger Hunt

ROCHESTER NY – “All I have to say is f*** Pinterest for making me think this was a good idea” says George Rollenfeld of Webster who has now been living in the lobby of The Owl House for the past year.

George decided to get creative with the Valentine’s Date with his wife of 5-years Clair. “I just wanted to surprise her and show her I still cared. So I did a quick AskJeeves search of the ‘Top Ten Free Valentines Date Ideas That Don’t Take No Effort’ and I came across this idea of a scavenger hunt.”

George put together a 5 clue scavenger hunt that would end where the couple had their first date and where he later proposed. He snuck out the morning of Valentine’s Day and told his wife “good luck.” Mr. Rollenfeld thought the clues were easy enough that his lover would solve the puzzle in only a few hours.

However, George ended up staying until The Owl House closed it’s doors for the night on Valentine’s Day of 2017. George slept in his car just in case his wife figure it out later. He woke up and went back to waiting in the restaurant’s lobby.

He would repeat this process for the next week. Then the next month and by then he had lost his job for missing so many days. The Owl House, now fully aware of his plight decided to hire George as a busboy to make a living while he waited.

“I didn’t want to be tempted to text her so I locked my phone away as one of the clues” said George when we asked why he never reached out to Clair about her progress in the puzzle.

The Inner Loop blog caught up with Clair at their shared home where we were surprised to find that she was sharing with a new husband.

“When George decided to ghost me last Valentine’s Day, it was the last straw. After 5-years of marriage, you’re just going to disappear and not text me?” Clair told us. “I had to move on.”

It turns out Clair never found the first clue to trigger the scavenger hunt.

Chen Garden To Add New “Fat Single Person” Menu for Valentines Day!

Rochester,NY- With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s nice to see a local business really taking charge and trying to get into the “holiday” spirit. Restaurant “Chen Garden” has just announced a brand new menu for single people during Valentines Day! We spoke with the honor of Chen Garden to see how he thinks this will affect future business!

” We have always had this menu in mind, we just didn’t know when the right time to “unveil” it would be! Everyday we get customers calling asking for “family” sized portions, pretending to talk to people in the background so they dont feel so shameful about ordering enough food for two grown adults and small children. So with this menu we’re going straight for their hearts and saying “HEY! We get it, you’re alone and sad! Here’s a personalized combo of beef lo mein and sesame chicken! We’re also going to throw in four fortune cookies so you feel a little bit better about yourself!”

 

Here’s the five news stories you missed while the media obsessed over Comey getting fired.

1. Huge voter turnouts for the 89th district’s new comptroller. People from all over the community came out in droves yesterday to participate in democracy. It was a beautiful sight, almost as beautiful as the play I put on that none of my friends came to see. I’m not mad and if anything it’s their loss. But nevertheless it was a wonderful day for the 89th district and I for one hope there is many more.

2. There were Oil spills from many pipelines last week, leaving many Americans concerned. Hmmm that’s interesting because I was concerned when it was 5 minutes to show time and the theatre space I’d rented was almost empty! Where are all my friends who said they’d be here? I asked myself. But was found to be let down once again, just like how America was let down by these spills.

3. Protest turned violent. The university of Berkeley, which is a hotspot for political unrest, Erupted in a violent clash between ideologies last week. Kind of like how my ideology of what makes a friend a friend clashed with the cold horror of nobody showing up to support my play last night. And it’s like, just tell me you’re not gonna go if you’re not gonna go. Like don’t lie to my face about it.

4. No! You know what I’m sick of being passive about this. You are all giant pieces of human trash! I’ve been talking about this play for weeks and have been writing it for YEARS! That’s it I’m doing it for real this time, I’m going to kill myself. I’m not bluffing this time. I might have been bluffing the other 16 times but no, I’ve had enough. And it’s all your fault! All of you!! I will be mentioning each one of you by name in my suicide note so the whole world knows what you did! I hope it haunts you forever and prevents you from sleeping at night you pieces of sub human garbage!!!!

5. The lilac festival is wrapping up and these local puppers couldn’t be happier 🙂

5 DIY Crafts to Decorate For Your Holiday Seasonal Depression

By Master Craftsman Kyle Baker 

It’s time for Christmas! While we’re getting jingle bells deep with peppermint mochas and Michael Bublé radio, it’s time to decorate your home for the holidays. The catch? You’re poor and the person you used to see for 3 years is now dating Mark from Men’s Warehouse. Any shred of happiness and dignity you have has gone into the trash with the turkey bones from Thanksgiving and the plastic tupperware containers your aunt let you “borrow;” who the f*** actually cleans and returns those? Anyway, here are some DIY craft ideas you can do in the discomfort of your own home instead of showering and going to Michael’s.

1. ‘I Voted Today’ Christmas Sprinkles

This one’s easy. So you got day drunk before voting to avoid the potential (lol surprise we’re doomed) reality of having Thanos elected president. While leaving the booths, you thought it’d be a great idea to grab a handful of ‘I Voted Today’ stickers to put all over your bumper. Well your car may or may not have ran away and found its way into the Genesee so you’re stuck with all these stickers. Take some scissors, cut them up into tiny pieces, and sprinkle over the tiny, fake Christmas tree your mom got you when you moved out; it lights up even!

2. Used Tissue Snowballs

Okay, keep that tree out, we have some more decorating to do. Look at your floor. See all those tissues? The unhappy ones, I mean. Yep, you guessed it… there’s a use for them. Ball them up in your hands; the fresher, the easier it’ll be to form. Put at the base of your sad tree and it’ll look like there’s snowballs there! While you’re up, throw the happy tissues in the trash.

3. Cigarette Box Stockings

Tis’ the season for chain smoking! If it were Christmas Eve night, Santa might accidentally confuse you for a chimney! If you smoke Marlboro Lights, Menthol, or Regular, this little sad project will work much better given the gold, green, and red thematic coloring. Rip out the foil lining and empty any excess tobacco flakes left in the box. Now, fill them with little trinkets and treats like matches from Sunoco or leftover Tootsie Rolls from Halloween. Your nieces and nephews will be so happy but your sister-in-law won’t be. Just remind yourself you’re better than the people she follows on Etsy.

4. Apartment Rosemary Mistletoe

So whatever, Patricia left. It doesn’t matter, you’re your own man! You can find plenty of people to kiss underneath the mistletoe… not drunk at a bar. Instead of throwing all of her stuff in the garbage, repurpose some for the apartment! Take some shrubs from the Rosemary plant you two bought together at The Garden Factory in the spring when things were going great (or least so you thought), tie some together with dental floss and holiday Hershey Kisses wrappers, and you got your mistletoe! We’re millennials, no one buys mistletoe so you can easily pull it off. Shit, you could use arborvitaes from your neighbor’s hedges and no one would know the difference. What am I saying, no one is coming over anyway?

5. Cam’s Pizza Box Christmas Stars

Unfortunately you live in the reality where people are still being fire hosed and Death Eaters are being appointed to major government positions, instead of Whovillians coming to together to hold hands, stars twinkling, and all that other horse shit. Luckily to ease into your dissociative episode, you can have your own stars to wish upon! Take those Cam’s pizza boxes you have lying around, cut them into stars, and hang them in your windows for onlookers to marvel at! You get an extra 10% off your next order at Cam’s if you have the logo right in the center of the star!

That’s it. Feel free to be creative with these ideas! Good luck making it to New Years!