Tag Archives: berniesanders

5 Signs That You Bought A Churro Instead of a Hotdog

Oh man, how did this even happen? Weren’t you just at a hotdog stand? Wow, this place is crowded, maybe you just got in the wrong line-Seriously! it’s super crowded in here and you can’t really comfortably look down. When did the Bill Grey’s Iceplex get so freaking crowded? Is there a Tribunes game-no, MCC doesn’t do hockey anymore, that stopped last year. What the f*** is in my hand, and what is going on here?

Lets take a mental checklist to see what cylindrical object is in my hand:

1. Is it smooth, or rigged and crispy?- So, it might be kinda hard to tell, because there is a napkin wrapped around it, and if you move your hand you might drop it. Maybe squeeze it? Wait, no, shit, everybody is moving toward the rink, uh, okay yeah maybe you can find a seat in there.

2. Did you visit a hot dog stand, or a churro stand?- Uhhhh, well i mean I just stood in the line. Honestly it could have been a combo cart, I think it also sold tortas and even kebabs. What kind of cart is that even? Very diverse choice of sales.

3. Alright, what the shit is going on here?- Seriously, there are so many people here. Can’t be a sport thing. Like, holy crap. Is it a holiday today? Oh! There’s a gap in the crowd up there. go and see if you can check out this food in your hand.

4. Is there delicious cinnamon on your hand, or bitter hot dog water?- Well my hands are super sweaty, so thats kind of a bad test. I also work at a bakery so, yeah, there is cinnamon and sugar there too. F*** man, maybe I should’ve gotten a taco- who is that up there? Is this-there is a guy at a podium.

5. Wait, is that Bernie Sanders?– Yeah holy f***, when did- Oh! Oh oh oh, shit, thats right, he had a rally today. F***, well might as well stay, I support his stuff. So I guess- oh! It’s a churro! awww yeaaaaah, churro time.

Alright alright alright! Lets double down to churro town! Bern-dog gets me, I bet he’s a churro hound. Today wound up pretty good.

 

 

 

Shit, I should remember to vote.

 

 

 

 

*Crunch*

Bernie Sanders Rally Gets Interrupted By Literally Hitler

Rochester, NY – A political rally for Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders this past Saturday was brought to a screeching halt when Hitler, the long assumed deceased German dictator, showed up to protest. The rally, held at the Historic German House, was by all accounts a positive experience before Hitler’s arrival. Bernie supporters who had come to hear the Vermont senator’s populist messages were floored by the unexpected interruption.

College student Jake Stevenson had this to say, “I was really stoked to hear Bernie talk, I think he is totally what this country needs. But then, when, like, Hitler showed up, it totally bummed me out. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, ya know? Cuz I don’t speak German or whatever, but he seemed super mad at Bernie. Which is crazy, cuz Bernie is great.”

Reports indicate that the former Nazi leader burst into the room during Sanders’ speech and began screaming in German, pointing at the senator. Attendees of the rally instantly began a counter-protest, a few even throwing their FeelTheBern signs in the Fuhrer’s direction.

Though intense, the scene was short-lived, rally security quickly escorted the disgruntled Hilter off the premises as he howled, “abstimmung Trump,” over and over.
Sanders said this about the incident, “Let me absolutely clear, Hitler can yell and shout all he wants about a Jew running for office, or this or that, or whatever. However, however, I do not want this stunt to detract from the real problem this country faces. Hitler is not the real problem this country faces, I’ll tell you the real problem this country faces. It is that a handful of millionaires and billionaires hold far too much of this country’s wealth. That, that is the real problem.”