Orchard Park, NY – With the coming winter storm in Western New York, Governor Hochul held a press conference on Saturday to announce that 100 members of the New York National Guard would be deployed to Buffalo on Monday afternoon to act as run blockers for Bills RB James Cook.

“Facing two crises,” the Governor declared from a Buffalo podium, “the winter storm, of course, but also the struggling offense of this season’s Bills team—I have no choice but to deploy 100 of our strongest and bravest National Guard troops to augment the Bills’ intermittently porous O-line.”

While our sources report that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was initially opposed to the idea, he ultimately agreed to expand the Bills’ offensive line size to 105 men to provide adequate protection for Cook’s frequent runs in the heavy snow.

At press time, the Bills were seen to be unpacking 100 new jerseys for the troops at Highmark Stadium.