Rochester Americans Ejected From Playoffs After Whistleblower Reveals Half the Team Not Born in USA

Rochester, NY – In a shocking move the AHL has removed the Rochester Americans from the Calder Cup Playoffs after a new study revealed only 42% of their roster was born in the United States.

“Most of them are actually Canadian and there’s a lot of Swedes as well,” said the AHL Commissioner Bennett Mercer. “Their whole season is a fraud.”

The Americans just won their first game in the North Division Finals against the Toronto Marlies but it’s looking as though their opponent will coast into the next round if the league’s decision to eject the Rochester team from the playoffs stands.

“We’re fighting the decision,” said an Amerks representative. “Are many of our players from different countries? Yes. Do we force them to take citizenship tests to wear the Americans crest? No. Would it make more sense if we had a team name that was an inanimate object instead of a Nationality? 100%.”

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