Penfield Family Begins Annual Pilgrimage to Myrtle Beach, Dad Gets Dysentery

Penfield, NY – After sharing avocado toast and mimosas, one upper class Penfield family religiously packed their new Jeep Wagoneer and began their 800 mile journey to paradise.

Their vehicle was packed with all of the essentials for survival such as Nutella, Pirate’s Booty and various overpriced probiotic drinks.

The yearly pilgrimage had special importance for the family this year. They were celebrating Jebidia completing his senior year of high school and beginning his adult journey for a communications degree at an overpriced university his family completely paid for. Unfortunately, room temperature crab legs from a roadside restaurant had different plans for the family.

“Jebidia, I can go no further,” his father said holding his gut in agony, “you must lead the family to the all inclusive oceanfront vacation salvation.”

“But Pa, who will pay for Mary-Beth’s Coolsculpting and Botox injections?” Jebidia sobbed grasping his father’s clammy hand.

“Ask your mother.” Jebidia’s father said before running into the roadside restroom.

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