Local Church Demands St. Paul Mural Change Positions To Missionary Bear Sex ‘As God Intended’

A local church is outraged at a mural they say depicts two bears in the 69 sex position and have demanded that the mural be removed and replaced with a mural of two bears engaging in traditional missionary sex.

The local pastor had this to say about the infamous mural

“It is just not right! What is this country coming to? First it’s giant bear 69ing next thing you know its giant bear gay marriage. As the bible says, it’s Giant Mural of a Bear Adam and Giant Mural of a Bear Eve, not Giant mural of a Bear Adam and Giant Mural of a Bear Steve!”

Which, like the mural, is quite the mouthful.

Many in the community are outraged, claiming that two disgusting fat hairy creatures 69ing is part of the proud culture of the city of Rochester.

The painters of the mural are said to have proposed a compromise in which it will be made clear that only anal and oral penetration occurred during the 69 which would be considered religiously sanctioned under the famed poophole loophole.

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