RG&E Reports Over 10,000 Customers Remain Without Chill

Following Saturday’s windstorm, in which 70 mile per hour gusts devastated power and communications lines around the county, Rochester Gas & Electric has reported that over 10,000 of its customers in the Rochester area still have absolutely zero chill about the whole situation.

“It has come to our attention that thousands of our valued customers can’t, like, just cool it with the complaints for one goddamn second,” a spokesperson wrote in a statement released early Sunday morning. “We obviously know your power’s out, OK? We’re working on it. Losing power isn’t the end of the world. Go do a crossword or something.”

Sources inside the regional utility giant report that the company expects to have restored power to a majority of households by Monday morning, but that there are currently no estimates of when occupants will settle the fuck down and think about maybe buying a few flashlights next time.

At press time, we were unable to reach RG&E for comment, because our power was out.

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