‘Some Big Trampolines and a Running Start.’ Fairport Releases New Plan for Lift Bridge Closure

Fairport, NY – The lift bridge in Fairport bridge had been expected to reopen in November of 2020 but as you’ve probably read on your mom’s friends’ Facebook posts, that sucker is still closed to this day for construction.

Since this is a lift bridge we do need to clarify that when we say “closed” we mean “closed to car traffic.” Not “closed so that car traffic can cross over it.” It can all get confusing so to put it terms the average Rochesterian can understand, “sh**s f***ed.”

After months of no news, The Innerloop Blog has just received word from the head muckety mucks in Fairport. Turns out after all of this time receiving angry mail from residents they’ve finally caved and come up with a plan to get them across the Erie Canal in a timely fashion.

“We’re going to place some really big trampolines on each side. It’s the best solution we could come up with that was both Green and helped with our town’s fitness initiatives,” said one reprehensive.

They expect the idea won’t be a hit until the first really hot day of the summer and the Ice Cream Factory has a short line on the other side of the canal.

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