Local Man Excited to Completely Ruin His Life at ROC City Skatepark

Rochester, NY – Arnaldo Kutch hasn’t skateboarded since his high school days in the ’90s, but upon seeing that the ROC City Skatepark has finally been completed, he got a wave of nostalgia and confidence, and plans to hit ramps this weekend.

We have reached out to Kutch’s doctor Art Ernser who let us know he predicts the Gates man won’t even complete a single ollie before shattering at least five to seven bones in his body.

Dr. Ernser has warned his patient that taking this kind of risk with his body is not something he can afford as a working adult but has already drafted a letter for excused absences from his job because, and these are Dr. Erner’s words, “Arnaldo is a complete dumbass.”

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