ROCHESTER, NY – Vice President and presumed Democratic nominee Kamala Harris chose the Rochester burger restaurant Tom Wahl’s as her running mate, surprising many who expected her to opt for a human partner.

“Tom Wahl’s doesn’t even register on the fear-o-meter,” top Republican strategist Kevin Poindexter said prior to her official confirmation of the pick. “Bill Gray’s is honestly way better. The fries are better.”

Despite criticism from the far left alleging that Tom Wahl’s is responsible for a myriad of problems disproportionately affecting the lower class, such as heart disease and vitamin deficiency, moderate Democrats have praised the pick as “courageous” and “delicious”.