Rochester, NY – The Rochester area’s first Whole Foods Market has opened and local shoppers are pumped to have a new overpriced grocery store to blow a sizeable chunk of their paycheck.

Among the most excited is your worst coworker. Even though they once told you they could never move out of state due because they “needed to be near a Wegmans” they were also one of the first in line to check out the new Amazon-owned chain.

While you’re trying to hurry the small talk along they keep on remembering crazy things about the grocery store that they need to tell you about like how they don’t have any processed food off its shelves.

Just when you think you can get away by dropping your go-to “I have diarrhea” line, they stop you and let you know how complicated it is to checkout as a Prime member using an app.

You now actually have diarrhea.

Your best option is to crap down your leg because your coworker is launching into a story about the traffic on Monroe Ave because of Whole Foods.