HERSHEY, PA – M&M made a statement recently with the introduction of their newest sex-positive character, Purple by having an all-women candy bag, which shocked people who are confused and disturbed my anthropomorphic candy.

Capitalizing on that reaction the company has decided to roll out some local m&m characters including a bag with only Brown, Yellow, & Red M&M to represent traditional garbage plate colors and promote depression awareness.

“We at M&M know we are more than just the most mediocre candy and have to be at the forefront of all social issues. That’s why we saw Rochester, NY a place known for a beloved dish that ultimately represents the sadness inside of us all to promote awareness of the scourge of depression.”

CEO Mr. Mars Barbo shouted into a microphone to awestruck candy fans