New York, NY – A leaked document sent to the Innerloop Blog may shed some light on what the National Football League plans to do at future Buffalo Bills games played in the snow.
During the game between Miami and Buffalo fans showered the field with snowballs. At one point the game was paused to address the situation and the threat of penalizing the home team with a 15-yard penalty was announced. The main concern was for NFL players’ safety as there were ice balls hitting the Dolphins players on the sideline and in the endzone.
After being surprised that calmly asking a giant crowd known for throwing dildos to stop did not work, the leaders of the NFL decided they needed to do something more to ensure this will not be an issue at future games.
“Let’s be honest, it’s pretty damn impressive that these fans who have been drinking all day have the accuracy to hit a player from that distance,” said one NFL executive that wanted to remain anonymous. “While we can’t encourage that type of behavior, we can’t let that kind of talent go to waste.”
It is for these reasons that the NFL is now considering a forced tryout for any Bills Mafia member who hits a player on the field with a snowball. “The Jets haven’t had anyone that could hit their wide receivers with a ball for years so they’re welcoming the chance to get someone, even if it’s a Bills fan.”
If the threat of having to move to New Jersey and support the NJ Jets is not enough, the leaked document also states the possibility of putting a dome on the new Bills stadium that the fans will be forced to pay for via an added ticket charge. “Obviously we wouldn’t make the owners pay for it. That would be absurd!”