ROCHESTER, NY- As Halloween draws near, many local parents have taken to social media to express their disappointment in the steep decline over the years in the amount of dank drugs and sick ass razor blades they used to find when inspecting their kids Halloween candy.
“Things ain’t how they used to be….back in the 90’s? I’d atleast get a pill or a needle, and that was on a bad day. Sometimes you’d get lucky and there’d be some coke AND a razor blade to chop it up with. The times they are a changing…Is Trump to blame? Hard to say”
Said Father of 3 Henderson Helmsly on his blog “Old white man complains about things.” which he started after feeling as though old white mens complaints and ramblings weren’t in enough abundance on the internet.
“One time I found a straight up katana hidden into a Baby Ruth.” He added.
Studies show that over the past decade the amount of drugs and super sweet needles and razors has declined over 65%, with parents getting lucky to even find half of a klonopin mixed into some smarties.
Many parents are wondering if it’s even worth it to celebrate this year.
Marsha Lyndon of Brighton had this to say.
“What’s the point? Halloween is a time to celebrate, get dressed up, take your kids around the neighborhood and trip balls on whatever unmarked pills you find in their haul. It seems like noone respects the tradition anymore. Very sad.”