5 Reasons I Became An Atheist


  1. The Communion wafers were stale.

I don’t consider myself high class or anything, but is it too much to ask for a little crunch?

  1. I have introduced myself to Mr. Jenkins at least fifteen times by now.

After about the seventh time, I really started to question my faith. I know Mr. Jenkins is old, but I see him every week. Come on.

  1. The wafers are stale, like really stale.

Look, I’m not expecting a five-class restaurant. It’s just, I know the Church has zip-loc bags in the kitchen, are they not using them?

  1. The Universe is a spinning void of complete nothingness that lacks any semblance of order, there is no fathomable way we are created or ruled by an Omnipotent entity.

Honestly, this was just a little thing on top of the wafer issue.

  1. The wafers were stale.

How can there be a God if the metaphorical representation of his supposed son are so gross and chewy?



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