Rochester,NY- Local family the “Duvettas” are excited to share the joy of bringing their kids to downtown Rochester to see the lighting of the “Liberty Pole”. Many honor this tradition in different ways, some are excited to find some empty heroin needles to recycle or maybe catch a local street brawl. Nothing screams Christmas like walking through the salt and mud of downtown Rochester to watch a city official clearly blazed out of their minds lighting up this pole we somehow worship. We we’re able to speak to the father of the “Duvetta” family and this what he had to say about this yearly event.
Rochester,NY- In a move no one saw coming, Glen Edith has just announced a new “Build your own broken table” program. After many complaints of “wobbly” or “unstable” tables, they have just decide the people can no personalize their own broken table experience.
Glen Edith has gone on the record saying
” They understand the tables can be a slight nuisance and while they would love to put more resources into it, they are currently developing thirty different coffee brands with Joywave and they simply don’t have time for the peasants of Rochester and did they mention they love Joywave, please buy our Joywave coffee and Joywave donuts, study on the ground for all we care. Joywave.”
Rochester, NY- With companies offering bigger and better sign on bonuses to reel in potential new employees, Paychex has just changed the game and announced yesterday morning that they are now offering a one year prescription of adderal as a sign on bonus. Needless to say the company is now being swamped with new applicants! We spoke with CEO Martin Mucci to see how he came up with this incredible idea!
“You know I just came to the decision on a whim, I know that this can be a difficult place to focus, I fully understand many people who work here had to give up their hopes and dreams of ever-living a life that was fulfilling or meaningful to any extent. So with that in mind, I figured lets drug the little pigs up and give them some energy in the form of a pill to help make me some money! Also, If worst comes to worst we can always just go back to snorting lines of coke in the break room like regular people.”
