Rochester, NY- With companies offering bigger and better sign on bonuses to reel in potential new employees, Paychex has just changed the game and announced yesterday morning that they are now offering a one year prescription of adderal as a sign on bonus. Needless to say the company is now being swamped with new applicants! We spoke with CEO Martin Mucci to see how he came up with this incredible idea!

“You know I just came to the decision on a whim, I know that this can be a difficult place to focus, I fully understand many people who work here had to give up their hopes and dreams of ever-living a life that was fulfilling or meaningful to any extent. So with that in mind, I figured lets drug the little pigs up and give them some energy in the form of a pill to help make me some money! Also, If worst comes to worst we can always just go back to snorting lines of coke in the break room like regular people.”