Paychex Offering New Hires Adderall Prescription As Sign On Bonus

Rochester, NY- With companies offering bigger and better sign on bonuses to reel in potential new employees, Paychex has just changed the game and announced yesterday morning that they are now offering a one year prescription of adderal as a sign on bonus. Needless to say the company is now being swamped with new applicants! We spoke with CEO Martin Mucci to see how he came up with this incredible idea!

“You know I just came to the decision on a whim, I know that this can be a difficult place to focus, I fully understand many people who work here had to give up their hopes and dreams of ever-living a life that was fulfilling or meaningful to any extent. So with that in mind, I figured lets drug the little pigs up and give them some energy in the form of a pill to help make me some money! Also, If worst comes to worst we can always just go back to snorting lines of coke in the break room like regular people.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s