ROCHESTER, NY – The most anticipated Rochester Fringe Festival show since pop-harpist Mikaela Davis has been nixed. Comedian & SNL alum Pete Davidson was left inconsolable after being spurned by local sex icon/former news anchor Ginny Ryan and is said to be too depressed to perform in the Flower City.

“I was so excited to visit Rochester and perform for their art festival thing or whatever. But my main reason for booking the show was a chance to meet and pursue a romantic rendezvous with Ginny. I’ve always thought of her as the Kate Beckinsale of local news, I even got a new neck tattoo of channel 13 with her on the 1 like it was a stripper pole. But she ignored my calls and let me know via text that “I’m not in her league” and “couldn’t handle the rowdy gang she runs within the 585”. I’m sorry Rochester but I am too heartbroken to perform my little skits.”

Ms Ryan couldn’t be reached for comment but friends of hers said she was currently in a throuple with Dana Carvey & the lead singer of Everclear and couldn’t be bothered with “baby big dong”