Study: 99% Of Rochester Drivers Get High From Secondhand Marijuana Smoke While Stopped at Red Lights

ROCHESTER, NY – A new study released today has found the Rochester is the best city in the world to get high for free. All you need to do is simply get behind the wheel of a car and drive to the nearest stop light.

Scientists have found the combination of terrible drivers that cause longer delays at stoplights and the sheer amount of people smoking marijuana while driving to be well above the national average in our city.

“All it takes is an extra ten seconds at a red light for the interior of your vehicle to be filled with Rastafarian amounts of smoke in this city,” said one researcher.

Rochester also experiences the most amount of false alarm 911 calls due to secondhand marijuana smoke.

“We get calls all the time from people claiming they’ve been stuck at a light on Monroe Ave and feel like they’ve been transported into another dimension,” says emergency dispatcher Ellen Cleghorn. “The protocol is just to put them on hold with some Pink Floyd music and let them ride it out.”

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