Greece, NY – A local woman is terrified to set up her second dose of the Covid 19 vaccine out of fear that it will lead to her having to endure an even longer life within the town of Greece.

” Considering how much I smoke and drink I figured I only had 20 maybe 30 more years tops but now it looks like I might have to actually start preparing for a long and healthy lifespan, thanks a lot Pfizer!” said the woman who refused to be named for fear of being identified as someone who willingly lives in Greece, NY.

Many in the town share the same concerns over the vaccine.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m 35 and don’t even have a 401k, I didn’t ask for this.” said a local man, who also refused to be named out of fear that his Trump supporting parents would no longer pay for his studio apartment on Dewey ave if they discovered he had been vaccinated.

The average lifespan of a Greece, NY millennial skyrocketed to over 50 for the first time in years as vaccine rates increased within the town. Some say that they might even live to see the Bills lose another Super Bowl.