Rochester, NY – It’s no secret that Rochesterians love a nice warm car in the morning. And while some of the well-to-do here in Monroe County may have automatic start systems in their car, several people are still warming up their vehicles the old fashioned way by turning the key and leaving their unlocked vehicles alone.

It’s for this reason that the Rochester Thieves Guild (RTG) has issued a new press release thanking locals. “There’s a common misconception that we hate stealing cars in the winter because it’s cold. On the contrary, we love it. All you dumb dumbs leave your cars unlocked, running, and warm” said the RTG’s Chairman.

“At least when you take candy from a baby, the baby puts up a little bit of a fight. You people are just giving cars away. It’s amazing!”