Local Bird Nest 90% Wegmans Bags and Used Syringes, Study Confirms

Rochester, NY – The United States Fish and Wildlife Service released a study this week confirming that local bird’s nest are now majorly constructed by Wegmans bags and used syringes.

“Bird’s will use whatever they can find to soften their nests. Unfortunately, it seems like the most readily abundant material in this area is trash” said, wildlife expert Irv Stevewin.

Officials are worried that local birds could suffocate on the Wegmans bags lining the nests, or worse. “If these baby birds bump into the used needles in the nests they could become addicted to heroin and all their time making awkward eye contact with you at intersections all over the city begging for money to feed their tiny little bird drug habit.”

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