Red Wings GM Promises To Eat Own Foot If Temperature Isn’t In 70s By May

ROCHESTER, NY – Dan Mason, noted kooky general manager of the Red Wings that has been trying his best to promote our Wings over the years with such stunts as sleeping in the bullpen until they won a game and having a player race a horse (spoiler alert: horse won).

This year he’s really amping up the insanity by promising to eat beef on wecks until his heart stops and he no longer has to sell people on attending a minor league baseball game anymore.

“I’ve done everything I can to get the fans out here to enjoy our garbage plates, our chicken wing waffle cones, and our foot long hot dog waffle cones. But if it’s not 75 degrees outside by the time we hit May, I’ll be damned if I’m going to live another day without eating myself to death on roast beef sandwiches. So Mother Nature, you can be my executioner or my savior.”

“Also remember May 4th is Star Wars weekend so the first 1,000 fans will get a Chewbacca bobble head!”

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