ROCHESTER, NY – While the world was captivated by the coverage of the Royal Wedding of Prine Harry and Meghan Markle, Rochesterians were treated to a wedding that actually matters. After years of playing outside of Rochester Sports Stadiums and Bars, Walter The Accordion Guy has finally made an honest woman of his accordion.

The ceremony took place outside of Frontier Field and was officiated by the Christian dude that usually handing out pamphlets and yelling “REPENT NOW OR HAVE YOUR SOUL BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!” while you stand in line for a ticket.

Crowds were moved to tears when Walter said “I DO” and proceeded to play ‘Take Me Out To The Ball Game’ on his new bride.

“It was super cool until they decided to consummate the marriage right there on the street,” said one Wedding onlooker. “Still better than whatever that was in England! The Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Eat Dookey and Suck-It!”