(Rochester, NY) After breaking a long cold spell Rochester’s biggest liars, aka Meteorologists, call for a few days of warmish weather. Although the forecast calls for temperatures that would be known in the rest of the world as “still pretty shitty” Rochestarians are excited at the possibility of seeing sunlight.

The office jokester that no one actually finds funny is ready to pull out his Winter closer of a joke. Like the groundhog, he lies in wait for warmer weather for his time to shine.

Now that his coworkers all know that a 50-degree day is around the corner, he’s ready to pounce on the opportunity to walk around the office, mention the forecast, and say “I’m thinking about breaking out my shorts!”

Obviously, there is no need to point out, this is the best joke ever written. Clearly, this original masterpiece that no one has ever used before is on the same writing level as the likes of Carlin, Pryor, and Seinfeld. It has everything. It’s topical, it’s sexy, it’s fun, and it’s not the social justice warrior crap that all the comics are doing these days.

I only make a point of letting you know how amazing this joke is because this comedy virtuoso was sent to the hospital with a rare form of hypothermia.

It turns out he wasn’t joking. He actually ‘broke out his shorts’ and after just a half-hour outside scraping ice off his car, he ended up collapsing into a snowbank.

Doctors say he has one week to live and his family told us that they will “bury him in his favorite shorts.”